3 Deceptively Simple Steps to Teaching Kids Chores

In case you missed it, I recently wrote about 3 simple steps to teaching kids chores.  Here's a recap of the three steps:

1.  Demonstrate.  Show your child how to do the process, explaining as you go.

2.  Supervise.  The child primarily does the chore, with you supervising.  You correct and assist as needed, but let him do most of the work.  

3.  Leave.  Your child does the chore on his own, with you nearby so he can come and ask for help if needed.  When he's done, you come and make sure he did everything correctly.  If not, you have him do it again with you supervising.


This post is titled "3 deceptively simple steps to teaching kids chores" because these three steps seem so common-sense.  However, my sinful heart is always getting in the way.  These steps look so easy, they deceptively hide the many, many pitfalls we parents encounter.  I find myself tripping up in three major ways:

1.  I get stuck on Step 1, always demonstrating.  I'm the one who does all the work, always showing Buddy what to do and never allowing him to do it himself.  

Let's use picking up toys as an example.  Getting stuck at Step 1 means I say, "pick up the toys"  and then I do all the work myself while he watches.  Often I find myself falling into this trap because it takes the kids soooo long to pick up the toys themselves, and I get impatient.  But this will really backfire in the long run, because even though I may save 2 minutes when he's a toddler and I pick up his toys for him, when he's in middle school and still can't (or won't) pick up his room, I'm sure we'll spend hours and hours on this issue. 


2.  I get stuck at Step 2, always supervising.  He can do the chore himself, but I'm always hovering, never trusting that he can do it without me. 

I say, "pick up your toys" and I know he can do it himself, but I hover, criticize, and nitpick.  I need to remember the end goal of parenting--teaching my kids so that they can leave my house.  That means I need to be willing to let go, a little at a time, and trust him to do things for himself.


3.  I skip Steps 1 and 2 and try to go straight to Step 3.  I expect him to be able to do a task by himself without taking the time to be patient and give him the proper instruction. 

I say, "pick up your toys" to my three-year-old without teaching him what that means or where to put the toys, then I leave the room.  He doesn't know how to complete the chore and either ignores me, does a terrible job, etc.  Of course, this can lead to all kinds of problems--usually me being angry or impatient with him.


I think the main takeaway here is that even if it's frustrating or time-consuming, we do need to teach our kids how to do chores like laundry and cleaning.  Remember the end goal of parenting--one day your kids will leave!  When that day comes, you want them to be able to do all kinds of everyday tasks themselves.  But we also need to remember that teaching them even simple tasks will never be easy, since we're always being tempted to impatience, anger, etc.

Fellow parents, where do you struggle the most with teaching kids chores??

-Lily


Linked up at some of the great blogs on my sidebar!

Teaching Kids Chores in 3 Simple Steps

Teaching kids how to do chores is a pretty universal parenting goal.  It's an important goal at our house, for several reasons.  I want my kids to learn life skills like how to cook and do laundry.  I want them to understand that in our house, everyone works before we play.  I want them to be willing to work, and not view Mom as a maid.

I used to work in a biochemistry lab, and these were the three basic steps we used to teach coworkers how to do an experiment.  After I had Buddy, I realized that I could apply the same steps to teach my kids almost any complex task or process (like a life skill or chore).  So, yes, I am teaching my kids like we're in a science lab.  My husband can laugh at my mad scientist ways, but I've found this to be a valuable way to think about how to teach my kids. 

Three deceptively simple steps to teaching kids chores:

1.  Demonstrate.  Show your child how to do the process, explaining as you go.  Make sure to explain what you're doing and why.

For example, if you're teaching how to sweep the floor, don't just sweep and have him passively watch from the sidelines.  Have him help a little.  Answer his questions.  Explain how to hold the broom, how you're careful to sweep all the corners, to not spill crumbs out of the dustpan, etc .


2.  Supervise.  The child primarily does the chore, with you supervising.  You correct and assist as needed, but let him do most of the work.  


3.  Leave.  Your child does the chore on his own, with you nearby so he can come and ask for help if needed.  When he's done, you come and make sure he did everything correctly.  If not, you have him do it again with you supervising.

Sometimes it takes a long time for each step, especially with very young kids.  I've been working on teaching my three-year old how to sweep the floor for months.  For a while, he just watched, or he'd hold the dustpan to "help" but I actually did the work (Step 1).  Then, he got his own child-size broom and dustpan several months ago for Christmas.  Since then he's been practicing sweeping up dirt (Step 2).  He actually helps now--I do the major sweeping with a big broom, then he sweeps up the crumb piles into his dustpan and carefully throws them away (Step 3).  I consider this Step 3 for him, since he can do his part of the assigned chore without me watching.  


For my kids, by the time they're three years old I expect them to do one or two simple chores without direct supervision.  By the time they're school aged, I'll expect them to do quite a few tasks correctly, in a timely manner, and without me telling/showing how to do it every time. 

Check back in a few days, I'll be discussing where I trip up teaching chores.
-Lily

Linked up at some of the great blogs on my sidebar!